Intense dislike, disgust, and negativity relentless internal battle, a constant barrage of harsh self-criticism grappling with self-loathing trapped in a cycle of negative thoughts and beliefs, viewing my actions, appearance, and accomplishments through a distorted, highly critical lens. the pervasive feeling of being unworthy, unlovable, or inadequate. Every mistake is magnified, and every setback confirms my perceived worthlessness. overwhelming desire to distance myself from others, fearing that my flaws will be exposed and rejected. This results in a deep sense of isolation and loneliness.
Physical and emotional exhaustion and constant mental turmoil drain energy and sap the motivation to engage in activities that used to bring me joy or fulfillment. a deep sense of emptiness and longing for meaningful connections with others. The feeling of being disconnected from the world and missing out on the warmth and understanding that human interactions provide leads to a constant ache in my heart.
Persistent yearning for companionship and understanding. I fantasize about sharing experiences, laughter, and meaningful conversations with someone who truly understands and accepts me.
The fear of rejection or the belief that others wouldn't want to connect.
Fatigue disrupted sleep patterns and even increased susceptibility to illnesses. The lack of social interactions and emotional support led to excessive rumination and overthinking, replaying social situations and interactions, and questioning my own behavior.
In seeking out social interactions, my attempts are thwarted by feelings of awkwardness or an inability to truly connect on a deeper level.
Writing, art, or music—I use these mediums as a way to express my feelings and find a sense of purpose. But I fail to do so.
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